Khatola Tribune

as always, some compelling content from the queen of Indian newspapers. The Prince of Rajpipla comes out of the almaari, and astrologers that can tell gays from lesbians.

SURAT: Can the position of stars and planets pinpoint someone’s sexual orientation? Prince Manevendra Singh Gohil, whose recent proclamation of being gay left many aghast in the quaint town of Rajpipla, seems to believe it can.

“It was already there in my kundli. A senior astrologer from Canada had suggested that I should not marry as the stars and planets indicated that I was gay,” he said.

Trijayanand, an astrologer who counselled Manevendra against marriage, says: “The planetary positions in the fifth and the eleventh house generally give a good indication of a person being gay, lesbian or even a bi-sexual.

For instance, Mars in Tula rashi and Venus in Vrishchik rashi is also a marked indication.” In a new trend of sorts, gay activists have engaged astrologers to prove that the position of stars in astrology, which is relied upon before marriage, can suggest or predict a person’s sexual orientation during their adolescence.

The sena takes a liking to frogs (link via India Uncut) :

The Shiv Sena doesn�t want a rerun of 26/7 in Mumbai. It therefore wants machines that predict heavy rainfall with mathematical precision � just like frogs whose croaking is considered an indication of showers. But the Sena doesn�t know if such �frog machines� are available.

Therefore, the BMC standing committee � dominated by Sena-BJP coalition � wants information on the availability of such a device.

Standing Committee Chairman Ravindra Waikar, however, is optimistic. ?I?m sure there are machines that can predict the amount of rainfall in different suburbs. Even frogs can do that. If anyone has any knowledge on this, please contact me or any of the BMC top brass,? said Waikar.

He is optimistic, eh?

Frogs predict rains, why can’t the BMC?

Nilesh Bhattacharya writes in The Telegraph today:

One cannot adopt a moment of greatness, because it is rather achieved through great adventure, fun and the challenge of scaling new heights. It comes of one’s own with all the sweat and struggle — which may look sordid, but must continue. Just like a mother can’t sit pretty after giving birth to a child, but prepares herself for further challenges ahead.

He is writing about the cricket match in Jamshedpur tomorrow, but you wouldn’t know.

A glimpse into Advani’s facinating mind —

Referring to Munaf Patel, the latest fast-bowling sensation in Indian cricket, Advani said, “He reminds me of the (Bollywood) film Iqbal, where a young deaf and dumb lad from a remote village overcomes all obstacles to become a national cricketer.

“Though Munaf is not deaf or dumb, but he had managed to reach great heights,” he added.

Such logic.

Advani chants ‘Irfan, Munaf’ mantra

… at so many levels

On Aug. 14, 1945, Jones, a 16-year-old messenger in Washington, D.C., was entrusted to deliver to the White House the cable announcing Japan’s surrender to the United States to end World War II.

Unaware of his cargo’s import, the boy, in cavalier teenage fashion, put work on hold to eat pancakes at a diner, hang out with his friends and flirt with waitresses.

Later, he left his pancakes to complete the job only to be pulled over en route to the White House by a police officer, who berated the boy for making an illegal U-turn.

Meanwhile, President Truman and his inner circle waited for the note that would change history.

Boy’s pancake breakfast delayed the end of WWII - Yahoo! News

Impressed by yoga Guru Swami Ramdev’s efforts to arouse within Biharis the urge to attain total fitness, the state government has decided to appoint him the brand ambassador of Bihar.

Sometimes you don’t have to know, you can just feeeeel. Case in point:

It is, however, not yet known what the responsibilities of Ramdev would be as the brand ambassador of the state.

Swami Ramdev to be Bihar’s brand ambassador

A Middle-Eastern couple are seen embracing in a public place in Bombay. The supposedly slothful justice system springs to action, and they are arrested, charged, tried, jailed and deported within a couple of days.

The police booked both under section 110 of the Bombay Police Act for indecent behaviour in a public place; Lamyani was also booked for overstaying in India (section 14 (1) of the Foreigners Act, 1946 and section 7 (3) (iii) of the Foreigners Order, 1948).

…

“Their files have been forwarded to the look-out cell and the immigration cell so that they cannot come to India again in future,” a police officer said.

Thus was Bomaby saved from pernicious Middle-Eastern debauchery.

Mumbai matinee: Arab couple deported for indecent behaviour

A meritorious, peace-loving and disciplined student, Suresh, was writing an expansion on a popular Bengali saying which when translated in English means “by tolerating injustice you become equally liable to the guilt as the one who commits injustice” during his examination.

While writing the paper it occurred to him that his uncles were constantly ill-treating his parents and he decided to avenge them.

The peace-loving student returned home and attacked two uncles with a sickle.
West Bengal teenager hacks ill-treating uncles

Right-wing activists roam the streets in Ranchi looking for couples to force-wed.

While couples sought privacy in hospitals and under staircases of multi-storeyed buildings, activists moved about in shopping malls, parks and restaurants, threatening lovers with dire consequences.

Tie this, tie that — but you must tie something.

At Rock Garden, Tagore Hill and Nakshtra Vun couples were driven away and even forced to participate in symbolic marriage. Those who agreed to participate in the symbolic ritual were left with a warning that their parents would be informed of the gesture.

Those who refused to take part in the mock marriage were forced to tie rakhis, said Lal Rajiv Ranjan Nath Shahdeo, district convenor of ABVP. Shiv Sena leader Pramod Narang said 40 volunteers equipped with cameras had photographed over 400 couples.

V-Day protests: Couples forced to marry

The The Times of India reports that

CHENNAI: The Madras High Court has asked the service providers across the country not to give score updates of the India-Pakistan one-day international cricket series on mobile phones and websites after a firm said it had exclusive rights on the information.