Khatola Tribune

A first for eBay

Leading Carnatic vocalist MS Subbalakshmi passed away yesterday. According to Sify, President Kalam has seized the opportunity to dribble his poetic drivel. We are grabbing the opportunity to reproduced his dim-witted nonsense:

You are the seven swaras of the instrument
Your music gave peace and lilt
A lot of wealth you gave along with music
You surprised God and made him realise the significance of human voice
Thousands and thousands of us were drenched by your soulful music
Your mellifluous music moved our hearts and you were a spring for 80 years

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In Shahpurpatori village, Bihar, it is The Night of the Living Dead, because the dead are hell-bent on living it up. The Times of India reports:

Seema, of Shahpurpatori village, had died after being bit by a snake. Police said her father Brajmohan Choudhary conducted her marriage Wednesday after she began appearing in his dreams and insisted that she be married as per rituals.

Choudhary felt it was not just a dream and that her soul was creating “disturbances” in his household every day.

I see some possibilities here for a sequel to So I married an ax murderer.

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Actually this one is from Jharkhand, but same difference. Bihar is Bihar by any other name, and the most darn illiterate place in the galaxy.

So what can you do about it? Well, you can distribute sex-jokes to fifth graders. That’ll teach them the three Rs, what? Right. So let us add to the curriculum Superhit Jokes, penned by one Harish Yadav.

Time for a quote:

Is kissing healthy?” a girl asked, when she was kissed. She got the reply: “Though it does not contain vitamin, it helps cure pain.

Ah, right. You get your daily dose of grammar and sentence construction in addition to learning all about bad jokes. This is what double entendre was invented for, no?

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A minister from Andhra suggests distributing condoms (”along with textbooks”) to elementary schools students.

Andhra primary lessons: Textbooks and condoms - The Times of India

After all, Mr Rao is — ahem — the Minister for Endowments.